Weight Insults

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Hey, you have something on your chin.... No, the 3rd one down.

Yo momma's so fat, they had to fit speed bumps at the buffet.

Some people carry ketchup with them, some people carry maple syrup with them. But you, you carry the whole fucking McDonald's!

Hey I forgot to tell you: the bakery called, they said they want their rolls back.

Yo momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific ocean.

Yo momma's so fat, she broke the stair way to heaven.

Yo momma's so fat that when she farted, she started global warming.

Yo momma's so fat, the NSA had to build a 2 billion dollar complex to store her weight information.

Yo momma's like the Eiffel Tower; she's so big that all of France has seen her and half of Europe has been up her!

You're so fat, when you get into row boat it becomes a submarine.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes inside an elevator, the only direction is always down.

Yo momma's so fat, we took a picture together last Christmas and it's still printing.

You're so fat that the only thing stopping you from going to weight watchers is the door.

You're so fat that when you play basketball the ball bounces you instead.

If your IQ was as high as your weight, you'd be a genius.

Fat Albert called, he wants his belly back.

You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food.

Yo mamma's so fat, the Army uses her underwear as parachutes.

Yo momma's so fat, she sat on an iPhone and made the iPad.