Casual Insults

You're as useless as a ham sandwich at a Barmitzvah.

Common sense is like deodorant; the people that need it the most, never use it.

It would be nice if we could manage to get on the same level, but I'll never get that low and you'll never get this high.

Wow! That's a lovely shade of ultra-bitch you're wearing today.

You make me wish I was born with more middle fingers.

Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.

Two things:
1. Where have you been all my life?
2. Can you please go back there?

Someday you'll go far... and I hope you stay there.

The zoo called. They are wondering how you got out of your cage.

Deja Poo: The feeling that you've heard this crap before.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin' bottle.

Stop editing your pictures so much. What if you go missing?

Twinkle twinkle little snitch,
Mind your own business you nosy bitch.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't think of a non-insulting way to describe you.

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

I hate you. Maybe not in the "I hope you die" kind of way, rather "I hope you develop an allergy to bacon". And ice cream.

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I can honestly say,
it sucks to be you.

The more I think about you, the less I think about you.

I am looking forward to the pleasure of your company, since I haven't had it yet.