Ugly Insults

Know someone who isn't the prettiest and could do with some banter? Try our insults and comebacks for ugly people.

  • You are so ugly, the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.
    314
  • If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world!
    201
  • What's that shit on your neck? Oh, it's your face!
    90
  • You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.
    136
  • I hate it when ugly people say "I need my beauty sleep." Bitch, you need to hibernate.
    298
  • Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.
    233
  • Every time I look at your face I feel this urgent need to throw up
    -96
  • If you really want a joke, just look in the mirror.
    260
  • Trust me, not even make-up can make you look good... unless it's Halloween.
    127
  • It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor.
    32
  • Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
    74
  • I couldn't help but notice that "awesome" ends with "me", and "ugly" begins with "u".
    236
  • Your face and my ass could be twins!
    93
  • I would slap you, but I don't want to make your face look any better.
    78
  • I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.
    129
  • They've got a picture of you at the hospital to save them using the stomach pump.
    -18
  • Can I take your picture? I love to collect photos of natural disasters.
    232
  • You've got a set of teeth like a baby piranha.
    -105
  • Insult: You're ugly!
    Comeback: Sorry, I stole your face.
    66
  • Can I have your picture? I want to scare my sister.
    106