Ugly Insults

You are so ugly, the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world!

What's that shit on your neck? Oh, it's your face!

You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.

I hate it when ugly people say "I need my beauty sleep." Bitch, you need to hibernate.

Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.

Every time I look at your face I feel this urgent need to throw up

If you really want a joke, just look in the mirror.

Trust me, not even make-up can make you look good... unless it's Halloween.

It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

I couldn't help but notice that "awesome" ends with "me", and "ugly" begins with "u".

Your face and my ass could be twins!

I would slap you, but I don't want to make your face look any better.

I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

They've got a picture of you at the hospital to save them using the stomach pump.

Can I take your picture? I love to collect photos of natural disasters.

You've got a set of teeth like a baby piranha.

Insult: You're ugly!
Comeback: Sorry, I stole your face.

Can I have your picture? I want to scare my sister.