Relationship Insults
Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.
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Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex.73
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You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!154
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You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.367
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Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.212
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If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.162
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You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.40
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Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!80
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Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.301
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Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
You: That's the point.173 -
Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?87
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Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.47
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I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?112
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Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.119
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Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.231
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I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.77
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Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.385 -
You're just mad because your hair is straighter than you are.368
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Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.1.2K
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Garbage is dumped,
And so are you.673 -
Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.197