Mean Insults

If I had a penny for every smart thing you've said, I'd owe the bank money.

You should donate blood. All of it!

If I wanted a friend like you, I'd buy a dog.

I can't tell if you're on too many drugs or not enough.

Bitch, you're like summer; no class.

Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car, Throw you off a cliff so high, I hope you break your neck and die.

I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.

You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.

"When I think about you, I touch myself." Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.

Oh I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?

Your face is like porn for my hand; whenever you appear, my middle finger goes upwards.

Some people are like slinkies; they're really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

It's called FUCK OFF and it's located over there.

Before I met you I thought God didn't make mistakes, but I guess I was wrong.

Your mum and dad hated you so much, your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd probably be the one driving it.

When you were younger, did your parents have to tie a steak around your neck so the other dogs would play with you?

Your mother's got two cunts, and you're one of them.

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ.