Best Insults and Comebacks

1
Insult: You're a fail.
Comeback: So was your dad's condom.
5316
2
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
3840
3
Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
3699
4
You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.
3041
5
You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!
2864
6
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
2498
7
I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
2311
8
Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.
2305
9
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
2267
10
Shock me, say something intelligent.
1802
11
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
1784
12
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
1670
13
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
1651
14
Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!
1535
15
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
1533
16
Insult: You Failed! Comeback: Yeah, so did your mom's abortion. :)
1523
17
At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
1410
18
Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one.
1346
19
Twinkle twinkle little star,
I want to hit you with my car,
Throw you off a cliff so high,
I hope you break your neck and die.
1324
20
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you!?
1315