Best Insults and Comebacks

1
Insult: You're a fail.
Comeback: So was your dad's condom.
5286
2
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
3826
3
Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
3679
4
You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.
3023
5
You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!
2846
6
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
2476
7
Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.
2286
8
I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
2284
9
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
2259
10
Shock me, say something intelligent.
1796
11
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
1760
12
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
1656
13
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
1647
14
Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!
1541
15
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
1526
16
Insult: You Failed! Comeback: Yeah, so did your mom's abortion. :)
1504
17
At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
1402
18
Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one.
1337
19
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you!?
1292
20
Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall.
1266