Latest Insults

Your beauty filter has asked for a pay rise.

Your phone's Face ID keeps failing because it refuses to believe that's a face.

You'd lose a staring contest with a photograph.

Your ex didn't leave you. They escaped.

If I had a penny for every smart thing you've said, I'd owe the bank money.

Insult: You think you're so smart. Comeback: No, you just make it really easy.

You're the human version of "unexpected item in the bagging area".

Insult: Your mum's a slut. Comeback: Keep my mum out of this and I'll keep my dick out of yours.

If being annoying were a political party, you'd be its leader, treasurer and only member.

You're so fake, your smile needs a fact-check.

That's so funny. The last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I missed my shot at a woolly mammoth.

Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

(After a ginger sings) That was great! It just needed a little more soul...

If you ran for office, your own mum would vote for the other guy.

I don't think you're one to talk, whilst you appear to be two KFC family buckets away from upsetting the planet's rotational axis.

Person 1: Suck my dick. Person 2: Sorry, I choke on small objects.

You'd lose an election to a ham sandwich, and the sandwich didn't even campaign.

Yo momma's so disgusting, when she worked at the sperm bank she got fired for drinking on the job.

You're so poor, the only time you ever had meat for dinner was when you bit your tongue.

You're like a politician's promise: loud, confident and completely empty.