Old People Insults

Funny insults and comebacks for old people. Make good banter with the elderly, such as grandparents and older relatives.

  • One more wrinkle and you'd pass for a prune.
    15
  • Yo momma's so old, she was the stripper at Jesus's bachelor party.
    -40
  • You're so old, you waited tables at the last supper.
    -9
  • You've got more wrinkles than an Elephant's scrotum.
    28
  • You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
    41
  • You're so old, you've seen honey expire!
    -10
  • You're so old, you left your purse on Noah's ark.
    32
  • The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
    -62
  • You're so old you're birthday cake looks like a forest fire.
    95
  • You're so old, the candles weigh more than the birthday cake.
    71
  • You're so old, the Three Wise Men helped you with your homework.
    64
  • Your so old your farts turn to dust.
    110
  • You're so old, I bet you're constipated!
    -182
  • Your grandfather is so old, when he went to school, history was current events.
    98
  • Your grandfather is so old he remembers when the dead sea was just feeling ill.
    77
  • I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
    191
  • Hey, act your age -- senile!
    -56