Relationship Insults

There are 29 relationship insults and comebacks.

  • 1
    Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1.1K
  • 2
    I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    929
  • 3
    I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.
    558
  • 4
    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Garbage is dumped,
    And so are you.
    483
  • 5
    Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    357
  • 6
    You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.
    322
  • 7
    You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.
    320
  • 8
    You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    294
  • 9
    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I feel bad for the guys,
    That end up with you.
    274
  • 10
    Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    249
  • 11
    Bitch, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants your boyfriend; that's why he's with you!
    221
  • 12
    "When I think about you, I touch myself."
    Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
    209
  • 13
    Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    195
  • 14
    Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    181
  • 15
    Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    160
  • 16
    Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    128
  • 17
    If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    124
  • 18
    I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    98
  • 19
    You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    95
  • 20
    You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.
    67