Relationship Insults

You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.

I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.

Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

You're so ugly, the only dates that you get are on a calendar.

I wouldn't fuck you for practice.

You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.