Relationship Insults

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I feel bad for the guys, That end up with you.

You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.

You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.

"When I think about you, I touch myself." Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.

You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.

Bitch, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants your boyfriend; that's why he's with you!

You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.

Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.

If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

I wouldn't fuck you for practice.

You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.

You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.

You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.

Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!

Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

Ex: You'll never find someone like me. You: That's the point.

I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?

You're so ugly, the only dates that you get are on a calendar.