Relationship Insults

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.

What's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Garbage is dumped, And so are you.

You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.

Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.