Relationship Insults

There are 29 relationship insults and comebacks.

  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    353
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    242
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I feel bad for the guys,
    That end up with you.
    261
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    158
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    119
  • You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.
    320
  • You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.
    60
  • I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
    61
  • You're so ugly, the only dates that you get are on a calendar.
    50
  • I wouldn't fuck you for practice.
    35
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    66
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    179
  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    924
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    192
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    286
  • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.
    542
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    124
  • Bitch, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants your boyfriend; that's why he's with you!
    210
  • "When I think about you, I touch myself."
    Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
    204
  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    93