Relationship Insults

There are 29 relationship insults and comebacks.

  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    363
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    71
  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    32
  • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.
    566
  • You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.
    -271
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Garbage is dumped,
    And so are you.
    509
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    271
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    133
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    177
  • Bitch, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants your boyfriend; that's why he's with you!
    226
  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    103
  • You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.
    322
  • Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1.1K
  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    113
  • I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
    63
  • You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.
    68
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    147
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    206
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I feel bad for the guys,
    That end up with you.
    285
  • "When I think about you, I touch myself."
    Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
    213