Relationship Insults

There are 29 relationship insults and comebacks.

  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    88
  • "When I think about you, I touch myself."
    Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
    199
  • I wouldn't fuck you for practice.
    34
  • You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.
    59
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    273
  • You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.
    319
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Garbage is dumped,
    And so are you.
    448
  • You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.
    66
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    177
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    348
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    187
  • Bitch, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants your boyfriend; that's why he's with you!
    202
  • You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.
    306
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    146
  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    77
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    64
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    119
  • Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1K
  • I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    56
  • You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.
    -266