Relationship Insults

There are 29 relationship insults and comebacks.

  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    24
  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    71
  • Bitch, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants your boyfriend; that's why he's with you!
    198
  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    910
  • You're so ugly, the only dates that you get are on a calendar.
    49
  • You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.
    66
  • I wouldn't fuck you for practice.
    33
  • "When I think about you, I touch myself."
    Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
    191
  • You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.
    299
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    259
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    227
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    107
  • You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.
    -267
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    42
  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    86
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I feel bad for the guys,
    That end up with you.
    245
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    185
  • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.
    525
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    139
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    62