Random Relationship Insults

Ex: You'll never find someone like me. You: That's the point.

You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.

Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.

You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.

You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.

Bitch, I don't want your boyfriend. Nobody wants your boyfriend; that's why he's with you!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Garbage is dumped, And so are you.

I wouldn't fuck you for practice.

I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?

You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.

What's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

You're so ugly, the only dates that you get are on a calendar.

You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.

Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.