Relationship Insults

There are 29 relationship insults and comebacks.

  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    95
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    160
  • You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.
    320
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    128
  • I wouldn't fuck you for practice.
    37
  • I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    63
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    357
  • You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.
    60
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    195
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    181
  • You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.
    322
  • You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.
    -269
  • I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
    63
  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    929
  • You're so ugly, the only dates that you get are on a calendar.
    52
  • You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.
    67
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I feel bad for the guys,
    That end up with you.
    274
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    249
  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    24
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    124