Good Insults

You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

Yo momma's like a chicken coop; cocks flying in and out all day!

Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.

Yo momma's so hairy, when you were born she gave you a rug burn.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on her iPod, she made it an iPad.

Yo momma's so poor, when she started walking around with 1 shoe on, people asked "Did you lose you're shoe, sir?" and she responded "No I found one!"

I heard that you were a lady-killer. They take one look at you and die of shock.

You're so poor that if you didn't have a hard on when Christmas came, you wouldn't have anything to play with.

If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.

Yo momma's so fat and heavy, she sat on a dollar bill and made George Washington's nose bleed.

Yo momma's so fat, she went in the cinema and sat next to everyone.

I'd call you an idiot but that would be an insult to stupid people.

Yo momma's so stupid, she had you.

Is that your head, or did your neck blow a bubble?

There are 2 things I don't that like about you; your face! So shut BOTH of them!

You're so fat that when a person was having sex with you they rolled over twice, they were still on top of you!

I would call you a cunt but you don't have the depth or the warmth.

Yo momma's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.

Yo momma's so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo momma's so fat, she couldn't fit in this joke.