Random Good Insults

I'd call you an idiot but that would be an insult to stupid people.

I'd give a fuck, but I already gave it to your mother last night.

You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

Girls who claim that a lot of guys are after them should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.

You're so stupid, when someone said that drinks are on the house, you got a ladder.

Insult: FAIL! Comeback: Nobody asked for your life story.

I heard that you were a lady-killer. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.

I don't see any penises in the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.

You're so old, the candles weigh more than the birthday cake.

Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

Act your age, not your IQ.

You're so poor that if you didn't have a hard on when Christmas came, you wouldn't have anything to play with.

Yo momma's so hairy, when you were born she gave you a rug burn.

Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.

Your momma's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

Does your face hurt? It's killing me!

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

You're so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection ducked.