Good Insults

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!

You're the reason God created the middle finger.

Yo momma's so fat, she downloads cheats for Wii Fit.

Insult: FAIL! Comeback: Nobody asked for your life story.

I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.

By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo, don't worry I will be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you!

I don't see any penises in the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.

Insult: You're jealous! Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you.

God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.

You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?

God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

You're so ugly, when you were born your mom said "What a treasure" and your dad said "Yea lets go bury it"!