Funny Insults

There are 190 funny insults and comebacks.

  • 1
    I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
    4K
  • 2
    You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!
    3K
  • 3
    I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
    2.4K
  • 4
    My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
    1.8K
  • 5
    Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
    1.7K
  • 6
    At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
    1.5K
  • 7
    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
    1.3K
  • 8
    Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.
    1.2K
  • 9
    If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.
    1.1K
  • 10
    Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra
    1.1K
  • 11
    I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.
    1.1K
  • 12
    I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.
    1.1K
  • 13
    I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!
    1.1K
  • 14
    I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
    1K
  • 15
    By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.
    1K
  • 16
    I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    968
  • 17
    I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.
    911
  • 18
    God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
    902
  • 19
    If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!
    897
  • 20
    God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.
    886