Funny Insults

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!

I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.

My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.

Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.

I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.

If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.

Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.

I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!

I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.

By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo, don't worry I will be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you!

God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.

Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?