Random Funny Insults

Yo mamma's so ugly, if she became a scarecrow all the corn would run away.

Yo momma's so poor, when she started walking around with 1 shoe on, people asked "Did you lose you're shoe, sir?" and she responded "No I found one!"

Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra

At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.

I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and tomorrow I will be sober.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes inside an elevator, the only direction is always down.

You're so fat, when you get into row boat it becomes a submarine.

You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"

Wow, you're so slow, is your ping at 999?

Your so fat, when you're hungry the elephants hide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from you.

You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

If I wanted my comeback I would have licked it of your Mum's tits last night.

You're proof that evolution can go in reverse.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

Is that your head, or did your neck blow a bubble?

Yo momma's so ugly, she scared the shit out of the toilet.

Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.

You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds.