Funny Insults

There are 190 funny insults and comebacks.

  • Disability jokes aren't funny. I have a friend in a wheelchair who can't stand them.
  • You tried to set your password as "Mypenis", but it came back with: "Error. Not long enough."
  • You are so ugly, the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.
  • Not saying you're a slut, but if your vagina was a video game, it'd be rated E for everyone.
  • You lips keep moving, but all I hear is "blah, blah, blah."
  • Maybe if you wait a little longer, a fuck will fall in my hand and I can give it to you.
  • I'm not saying I hate you, I just hope you get fingered by Wolverine.
  • Your comeback was so stupid, it didn't even comeback!
  • I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
  • Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news, they found your head!
  • You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.
  • I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the Earth revolves around the Sun and not you.
  • I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!
  • Yo momma's like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.
  • Deja Poo: The feeling that you've heard this crap before.
  • You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds.
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
  • Person: You are what you eat.
    Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.
  • Your house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach stole my wallet.
  • Bully: You're stupid!
    Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.