Funny Insults

Disability jokes aren't funny. I have a friend in a wheelchair who can't stand them.

You tried to set your password as "Mypenis", but it came back with: "Error. Not long enough."

You are so ugly, the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.

Not saying you're a slut, but if your vagina was a video game, it'd be rated E for everyone.

You lips keep moving, but all I hear is "blah, blah, blah."

Maybe if you wait a little longer, a fuck will fall in my hand and I can give it to you.

I'm not saying I hate you, I just hope you get fingered by Wolverine.

Your comeback was so stupid, it didn't even comeback!

I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.

Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news, they found your head!

You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the Earth revolves around the Sun and not you.

I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!

Yo momma's like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

Deja Poo: The feeling that you've heard this crap before.

You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Person: You are what you eat. Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.

Your house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach stole my wallet.

Bully: You're stupid! Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.