Funny Insults

I couldn't help but notice that "awesome" ends with "me", and "ugly" begins with "u".

Your face and my ass could be twins!

I hate you. Maybe not in the "I hope you die" kind of way, rather "I hope you develop an allergy to bacon". And ice cream.

Behind every fat person there's someone beautiful. No seriously, you're in the way.

Yo momma is like a soda machine, at a dollar a pop she pays for herself.

Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.

Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.

You wanna know how I know you're an autobot? You have to "roll out" of everywhere you go.

Hey I forgot to tell you: the bakery called, they said they want their rolls back.

Can I take your picture? I love to collect photos of natural disasters.

Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, PornHub is down, Your mother's Facebook will do.

You: What is the difference between you and an apple? Them: I don't know You: The apple keeps the doctor away, but you keep everything away!

Can I have your picture? I want to scare my sister.

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd sit down and pull out the marshmallows.

You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.

Yo momma's so fat, the NSA had to build a 2 billion dollar complex to store her weight information.

What's the difference between a joke and 10 black cocks? You can't take a joke.

Wow, I see you have fallen from heaven, but landed with your face.

Yo momma's so fat, she needs a wrist watch on both hands because she's in two different time zones!