Funny Insults

Go put some sand in your crotch, it will make the crabs feel at home.

Yo momma's like the Eiffel Tower; she's so big that all of France has seen her and half of Europe has been up her!

Your house is so unsanitary, I went to the kitchen to get a snack and found roaches twerking in the fridge.

Yo momma so nasty, she did the splits and left stains on the carpet!

You're so fat, when you get into row boat it becomes a submarine.

Your sex life is like the rainbow; crazy people search for it, midgets have gone through it, and every gayman in America supports it.

If you were a cookie, you'd be a Whoreo.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes inside an elevator, the only direction is always down.

You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

Girls who claim that a lot of guys are after them should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.

Nice tan! What's your race? Carrot?

Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn't.

I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is called happiness.

I heard your mom got fired from her job at the sperm bank - the boss caught her drinking on the job.

I've been told that inside every fat person, there's someone beautiful... I'm just wondering who the hell you ate!?

You know that thing above your neck? Yeah, you might want to trade it for a face.

You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.

You're so uptight, if I stuck a piece of coal up your ass, within a week it would be a diamond.

If I gave a shit, it would be on your face.

The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth was a penis.