Funny Insults

There are 190 funny insults and comebacks.

  • Yo mama is like a brick: She dirty, flat on both sides and she always get laid by mexicans.
    78
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
    1.3K
  • I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
    2.4K
  • Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
    903
  • Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.
    191
  • I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.
    1.1K
  • You're the cum your mother should have swallowed.
    364
  • I have a head pain from your mom screaming last night.
    -38
  • Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from you.
    234
  • Yo momma so ugly she made a blind kid cry.
    126
  • I heard that you were fired from the sperm factory for drinking on the job!
    71
  • If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.
    1.1K
  • You're so poor that if you didn't have a hard on when Christmas came, you wouldn't have anything to play with.
    24
  • You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
    275
  • If you've got a problem take it up with my ass, because that's the only one that gives a crap!
    327
  • You're so bald, I can see my reflection.
    -136
  • Me: Why do you have no dick.
    You: I do.
    Me: The one on your mom doesn't count.
    84
  • The only vagina that you're going to ever see is the one that you fell out of when you were born.
    373
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    386
  • You hear that? That's the sound of your balls not dropping.
    304