Funny Insults

Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean.

So a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!

She's stroked more wood than a Furniture Polisher.

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

You've got more dick in your personality than you have in your pants.

I heard that you were a lady-killer. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Your breath stinks. Did you eat your period?

Your mother was arrested for littering every time she dropped you off at school.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

Somebody call animal control! There's a stray bitch running around!

If you were any more of a dick, gay guys would be trying to suck your forehead.

The best part of you ran down your fathers left leg.

I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and tomorrow I will be sober.

You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on her iPod, she made it an iPad.

Yo momma's so fat, she left the house with high heels and when she came back she was on flip flops.

Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.

Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.

You're so fat that when a person was having sex with you they rolled over twice, they were still on top of you!