Comeback Insults

I was hoping for a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.

You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.

If I wanted an ass's opinion I would have asked my donkey.

Lives are just games, and it looks like you haven't bought one yet.

Insult: Where do you think you're going to put that? Comback: Bend over and I'll show you. ;)

Person: Does this dress make me look fat? You: No, your fat makes you look fat.

I'm not ignoring you. I'm just holding my breath hoping that I pass out.

Insult: You suck. Comeback: Not for free.

I would insult you back, but mother nature already has for me.

If I gave a shit, it would be on your face.

Insult: Why are you so stupid? Comeback: Because I'm related to you!

Lets play house.You be the door and I'll slam you.

I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all.

Person: Nice comeback! You: If I wanted my comeback , I'd go ask your mom.

Insult: You fail! Comeback: Your dad's condom failed! Comeback: Your mom's abortion failed!

I would tell you to go to hell, but all dogs go to heaven.

I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?

Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.

Short person: How's the weather up there? Tall person: How's the toxic fumes down there?

Insult: You ruined it. Comeback: Your ass ruined where your face was supposed to go.