Comeback Insults

Insult: You're a fail. Comeback: So was your dad's condom.

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.

You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

Insult: You Failed! Comeback: Yeah, so did your mom's abortion. :)

Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one.

You're the reason God created the middle finger.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

Insult: FAIL! Comeback: Nobody asked for your life story.

If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.