Comeback Insults

Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.

I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!

Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

Insult: You're a pussy. Comeback: Well, you are what you eat. Guess that makes you a dick.

I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked for your opinion.

If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!

Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.

Insult: Why are you so fat? Comeback: Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.

I don't see any penises in the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.

Insult: You're jealous! Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you.

God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!

You know what's funny? Not you, so shut up.

Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

Person: What are you looking at? Comeback: Your dad's incorrect use of a condom.

Oh, interesting. Let me just write that on my list of things that I don't give a shit about.

I Googled "Who Gives a Shit?" My name wasn't in the results.

I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.