Comeback Insults

Since you know it all, you should know when to shut the fuck up.

I think "dildo" is a perfectly acceptable insult. I'd call you a dick, but you're not real enough.

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

You're not worth it. You can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.

You should donate blood. All of it!

It's a bird! It's a plane! No... Wait... It's that flying fuck I don't give.

Insult: Why are you so fat? Comeback: Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.

Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

If you want my comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mother's teeth. Only joking, she swallowed the lot!

Insult: You're a pussy. Comeback: Well, you are what you eat. Guess that makes you a dick.

I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked for your opinion.

You lips keep moving, but all I hear is "blah, blah, blah."

Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?

Maybe if you wait a little longer, a fuck will fall in my hand and I can give it to you.

Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.

I Googled "Who Gives a Shit?" My name wasn't in the results.

Wow! That's a lovely shade of ultra-bitch you're wearing today.

Your comeback was so stupid, it didn't even comeback!

Please cancel my subscription. I've had enough of your issues.

Aww, what happened? Did you wish for a big dick and become one instead?