Random Comeback Insults

Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.

Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one.

I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.

For a man with no cows, you've got an awful lot of bullshit.

You're spreading rumors about me? At least you found a hobby spreading something other than your legs.

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

Glad you think I give a fuck but sorry, no such luck.

If I'm ugly, we must be twins.

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I've been called worse by better.

I can hear you with all that dick in you mouth.

You've got more dick in your personality than you have in your pants.

I might be scared of your face, but not you.

I swear the best part of you ran down your momma's leg.

I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!

Arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics; even if you win you are still retarded.

If you want my comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mother's teeth. Only joking, she swallowed the lot!

You lips keep moving, but all I hear is "blah, blah, blah."

No, no, sweetie. You're not 'THE shit'. You're a PIECE of shit. There's a world of difference.