Comeback Insults

Oh, what was that? I couldn't hear you with all your shit clogging up my ear!

Wow! That's a lovely shade of ultra-bitch you're wearing today.

Insult: You're a PUSSY! Comeback: Well, you are what you eat.

Insult: Shut up. Comeback: Make me Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.

If I wanted a bitch I would have went straight to your mom.

My name's not dick so keep it out of your mouth.

Insult: FUCK YOU! Comeback: No thanks, I don't want herpes.

I don't go strip club and tell your Mom how to do her job, so don't tell me how to do mine.

Please cancel my subscription. I've had enough of your issues.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.

I've had snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Crispies.

For a man with no cows, you've got an awful lot of bullshit.

And what are YOU? The poster boy for birth control?

I'd hit you but on earth we don't hit little girls.

I can't listen to you right now. I still have a headache from your mom screaming last night.

Fucked your mom last night. Comeback: I didn't know my mom was a lesbian!

You should donate blood. All of it!

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

You're not worth it. You can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.