Comeback Insults

There are 2 things I don't that like about you; your face! So shut BOTH of them!

Don't like my sarcasm? Well, I don't like your stupid.

I'd love to stay and chat, but to be honest I'd rather have type 2 diabetes.

I swear the best part of you ran down your momma's leg.

You must be a girl, because you don't have any balls.

If I were as optimistic as you are, I would be taking a bath in a whirlpool.

I am straighter than the pole your Mom danced on in front of me last night.

The best part of you ran down your fathers left leg.

If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but on closer inspection it said thick cut.

Guy 1: Why are you so fat? Guy 2: Everytime I make love to your wife, she gives me a pizza.

If I wanted my comeback I would have licked it of your Mum's tits last night.

You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.

You're so dirty, you started the swine flu.

I could've sworn I heard something. Maybe it was just escaping gas.

You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.

You should keep some lube with you, so it doesn't hurt as bad the next time you FUCK ME OVER!

Hey, did you think up that line during your last circle jerk?

Insult: You fail. Comeback: So did your MOM getting into college.