Awesome Insults

I don't see any penises in the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.

Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.

Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.

Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.

You're so ugly, when your Mum dropped you off at school, she got done for littering!

Insult: You suck.
Comeback: And your Mom swallows, by the way I wish you were the load that she had swallowed.

If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.

I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?

You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.

Act your age, not your IQ.

I would have been your dad but your dog beat me to it.

For a man with no cows, you've got an awful lot of bullshit.

I heard you went to a freak show and got in free!

If Moses had seen your face, there would have been another commandment.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo, don't worry I will be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you!

You fell from the top of the slut tree, and banged every guy on the way down.

If I got a penny for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have all the money in the world.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

You're so ugly, when you were born, your mom said "What a treasure!" and your dad said "Yes, let's bury it!"