Awesome Insults

Insult: You're a fail. Comeback: So was your dad's condom.

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.

You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo, don't worry I will be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you!

I don't see any penises in the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.

You fell from the top of the slut tree, and banged every guy on the way down.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

At least ginger kids have something to look forward to in later life. Like going grey.

When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.

You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.

You're the reason God created Birth Control.

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.

I would have been your dad but your dog beat me to it.