Awesome Insults

For a man with no cows, you've got an awful lot of bullshit.

Act your age, not your IQ.

You're so ugly, when you were born, your mom said "What a treasure!" and your dad said "Yes, let's bury it!"

Insult: You fail! Comeback: Your dad's condom failed! Comeback: Your mom's abortion failed!

I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?

If Moses had seen your face, there would have been another commandment.

Insult: You suck. Comeback: And your Mom swallows, by the way I wish you were the load that she had swallowed.

You're so ugly, when your Mum dropped you off at school, she got done for littering!

I heard you went to a freak show and got in free!

Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!

If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.

Yo momma's so stupid, she had you.

Yo mammas like a bagel, soft, round and has a hole in the middle.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

If I got a penny for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have all the money in the world.

Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.