Random Awesome Insults

Insult: You're a fail. Comeback: So was your dad's condom.

You're the reason God created Birth Control.

Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.

Insult: You fail! Comeback: Your dad's condom failed! Comeback: Your mom's abortion failed!

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

You're so ugly, when your Mum dropped you off at school, she got done for littering!

Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.

If I got a penny for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have all the money in the world.

You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.

When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.

You fell from the top of the slut tree, and banged every guy on the way down.

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Yo momma's so stupid, she had you.

You're so ugly, when you were born, your mom said "What a treasure!" and your dad said "Yes, let's bury it!"

Yo mammas like a bagel, soft, round and has a hole in the middle.

I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.