Wife Insults

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Ex: You'll never find someone like me. You: That's the point.

I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.

Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.

You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

Yo momma's so fat that her husband is called the whale rider.

Guy 1: Why are you so fat? Guy 2: Everytime I make love to your wife, she gives me a pizza.

I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!