Wife Insults

You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.

Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
You: That's the point.

Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.

Guy 1: Why are you so fat?
Guy 2: Everytime I make love to your wife, she gives me a pizza.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.

Yo momma's so fat that her husband is called the whale rider.

I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.