- You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.36
- Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
You: That's the point.160
- Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.44
- Guy 1: Why are you so fat?
Guy 2: Everytime I make love to your wife, she gives me a pizza.-75
- Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.224
- I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.70
- Yo momma's so fat that her husband is called the whale rider.-15
- I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!-167
- I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.37