Random Mean Insults

Insult: You're a fail. Comeback: So was your dad's condom.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

You remind me of a zip loc bag; good for one quality use.

When you open your mouth, the flies on the other side of the world notice.

Quick! Somebody kill it before it multiplies!

You are an oxygen thief.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from you.

To a woman who just had a baby: Well, not everyone is beautiful on the inside.

I'd slap you, but shit stains.

Yo momma's so ugly, the tornado went around her.

You started with nothing and still have most of it left.

Last time I saw a face like yours, I wiped it clean after taking a shit.

How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.

I'm no gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

When I looked at your face I almost fainted but I just told myself don't worry its just a nightmare.

I'm sorry, I don't talk to animals

I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.