Husband Insults

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Ex: You'll never find someone like me. You: That's the point.

I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.

Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

Yo Momma's so fat, she needs two husbands just to give her a hug.

Yo momma's so fat that her husband is called the whale rider.

He's got a Dick like a turkey poking his head through a bush.

He's got a Dick like a baby's arm holding an orange.

He's got a Dick so big it's got it's own heart and lungs.