Good Insults

By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.

Your so fat, when you're hungry the elephants hide.

Yo momma's so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

You're so ugly, when you were born your mom said "What a treasure" and your dad said "Yea lets go bury it"!

You could make a fortune helping people loose weight; one look at you and they loose their appetite!

You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.