Comeback Insults

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

You're the reason God created the middle finger.

Practice safe sex; go screw yourself!

My other ride is your mom.

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!

If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

You're as fake as a three dollar bill!

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.