Random Casual Insults

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Woah, who pissed in your fruitloops this morning?

If I were a dog and you were a flower I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower.

No one asked me how my day was. Person says: How was your day? You: Like your mom's penis, long and hard

Somebody call the zoo! There's been an escape from the simian exhibit.

Cool story bro, now when's the part when I give a fuck?

Cool story bro, now make me a sandwich.