- If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.31
- Cool story bro, now when's the part when I give a fuck?199
- Woah, who pissed in your fruitloops this morning?42
- Cool story bro, now make me a sandwich.-427
- If I were a dog and you were a flower I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower.542
- Somebody call the zoo! There's been an escape from the simian exhibit.24
- No one asked me how my day was.
Person says: How was your day?
You: Like your mom's penis, long and hard138