Asshole Insults

There are 83 asshole insults and comebacks.

  • Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
    20
  • The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU!
    -551
  • When you open your mouth, the flies on the other side of the world notice.
    27
  • I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd sit down and pull out the marshmallows.
    373
  • I'd slap you but shit splatters.
    171
  • Is your ass jelous of how much shit comes out of your mouth?
    306
  • Aww, what happened? Did you wish for a big dick and become one instead?
    418
  • I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
    215
  • Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.
    161
  • Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
    314
  • I wouldn't fuck you for practice.
    35
  • Bully: Turn around and sit your ass down.
    Victim: No you do it. Bully: i already am.
    Victim: No your ass (point to their face) is right there.
    521
  • Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
    962
  • If I wanted an ass's opinion I would have asked my donkey.
    133
  • I can't understand you with all the shit coming out of your mouth.
    245
  • You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk shit!
    242
  • You're the reason God created the middle finger.
    1.4K
  • Some people bring happiness wherever they go; you bring happiness whenever you go.
    180
  • I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
    4K
  • If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ.
    360