Asshole Insults

There are 83 asshole insults and comebacks.

  • You're not worth it. You can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.
    111
  • Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
    878
  • Insult: You're a pussy.
    Comeback: Well, you are what you eat. Guess that makes you a dick.
    930
  • Aww, what happened? Did you wish for a big dick and become one instead?
    369
  • If I wanted shit from you, I'd squeeze your head.
    73
  • You make me wish I was born with more middle fingers.
    236
  • Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
    290
  • Two things:
    1. Where have you been all my life?
    2. Can you please go back there?
    251
  • Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news, they found your head!
    147
  • No, no, sweetie. You're not 'THE shit'. You're a PIECE of shit. There's a world of difference.
    528
  • I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!
    987
  • Do you mean to mumble or is your mouth just naturally full of shit?
    394
  • By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.
    853
  • I can't understand you with all the shit coming out of your mouth.
    235
  • I'm sorry, but I couldn't think of a non-insulting way to describe you.
    72
  • A douche bag of your magnitude could cleanse a whale's vagina.
    172
  • I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.
    533
  • If being an asshole were against the law, you'd get the chair and I'd throw the switch.
    -300
  • The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU!
    -532
  • Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.
    1K