Asshole Insults

There are 83 asshole insults and comebacks.

  • You're not worth it. You can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.
    117
  • Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
    908
  • Insult: You're a pussy.
    Comeback: Well, you are what you eat. Guess that makes you a dick.
    954
  • Aww, what happened? Did you wish for a big dick and become one instead?
    387
  • If I wanted shit from you, I'd squeeze your head.
    78
  • You make me wish I was born with more middle fingers.
    245
  • Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
    296
  • Two things:
    1. Where have you been all my life?
    2. Can you please go back there?
    260
  • Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news, they found your head!
    151
  • No, no, sweetie. You're not 'THE shit'. You're a PIECE of shit. There's a world of difference.
    539
  • I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!
    1K
  • Do you mean to mumble or is your mouth just naturally full of shit?
    404
  • By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.
    877
  • I can't understand you with all the shit coming out of your mouth.
    238
  • I'm sorry, but I couldn't think of a non-insulting way to describe you.
    74
  • A douche bag of your magnitude could cleanse a whale's vagina.
    176
  • I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.
    547
  • If being an asshole were against the law, you'd get the chair and I'd throw the switch.
    -296
  • The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU!
    -541
  • Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.
    1.1K