Random Ass Insults

You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.

Insult: You ruined it. Comeback: Your ass ruined where your face was supposed to go.

Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole.

You're so uptight, if I stuck a piece of coal up your ass, within a week it would be a diamond.

If someone shoved my head up your ass, I'd live off of the air in your head.

If you've got a problem take it up with my ass, because that's the only one that gives a crap!

If I wanted an ass's opinion I would have asked my donkey.

Your momma's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

You're so fat, your ass looks like a road map.

You are so ugly, the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.

Your face and my ass could be twins!

If you have a problem then tell my ass cause it's the only one who gives a shit.

Grip your ears firmly, and pull your head out of your ass.

Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.

I would shove my foot up your ass, but you would enjoy it.