Ugly Insults

Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole.

You are so ugly, the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.

You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"

You could make a fortune helping people loose weight; one look at you and they loose their appetite!

What's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

If you really want a joke, just look in the mirror.

You're proof that evolution can go in reverse.

Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.

You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.

Mirrors don't talk. Lucky for you they don't laugh either.

Can I take your picture? I love to collect photos of natural disasters.

Your mother was arrested for littering every time she dropped you off at school.

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world!

I couldn't help but notice that "awesome" ends with "me", and "ugly" begins with "u".

You look like a dildo. If I paint you pink and shove batteries up your ass will you vibrate?

When I looked at your face I almost fainted but I just told myself don't worry its just a nightmare.

You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.

If shit took a look at you it would say hi mom.

If horse-shit was piled up to your height, I'd have trouble telling you apart.

Your hairstyle is so ugly, my cat has coughed up better looking ones.