Sex Insults

Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex.

Insult: Are you 5? Comeback: Yeah 5 inches deep in your mom

Sorry for calling you a whore all those times. I didn't realize a lack of love from your parents leaves a hole in your heart only dicks can fill.

Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.

Your vagina is so big, you have to go on a map quest to find your G-spot.

What's the difference between a joke and 10 black cocks? You can't take a joke.

Your sex life is like the rainbow; crazy people search for it, midgets have gone through it, and every gayman in America supports it.

You were supposed to be a stain on the carpet.

You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.

I'm not saying you're a slut, but your vagina has been used more than Google.

Pretty sure you were conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.

She's stroked more wood than a Furniture Polisher.

You look like a dildo. If I paint you pink and shove batteries up your ass will you vibrate?

I've eaten chicken breasts bigger than your boobs.

Yo momma is like a sniper rifle; 10 cocks and she is loaded.

Yo momma's like a pool table, she accepts different colored balls.

You're just like a vacuum cleaner, you suck things up but you don't spit out.

The best part of you ran down your fathers left leg.

That's what happens to you when your pussy has been invaded more than Poland.

Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner; she sucks, blows and gets laid in the closet.