Mother Insults

You were so ugly as a child, your mother breast fed you through a straw.

Your mom is like a squirrel, she always has two nuts in her mouth.

Yo momma's so poor, your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner; she sucks, blows and gets laid in the closet.

Yo momma's so stupid, she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

I would have been your dad but your dog beat me to it.

Yo momma's so fat that when she farted, she started global warming.

I would insult your mother, but cows are sacred in my country.

Yo momma is so dumb, when she was in the back of a cop car, she called the police and said she had been kidnapped.

Yo momma's so fat, when the door bell rings she runs to the microwave!

No one asked me how my day was. Person says: How was your day? You: Like your mom's penis, long and hard

Yo momma's like a pool table, she accepts different colored balls.

Did you know they used to be called "Jumpolines" until your mom jumped on one?

Your mother's got two cunts, and you're one of them.

Yo momma's so dumb, she says yo momma jokes to her own children.

Yo momma so ugly she made a blind kid cry.

Yo Momma's so poor burglars break into her home and leave money.

Yo momma is like a sniper rifle; 10 cocks and she is loaded.

You mother is so old she went to an antiques auction and people bid on her.