Good Insults

I'd slap you but shit splatters.

Insult: Shut up. Comeback: Make me Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

Does your face hurt? It's killing me!

Yo momma's so stupid, she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

You're so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection ducked.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from you, you UGLY FUCK.

For a man with no cows, you've got an awful lot of bullshit.

I'd hit you but on earth we don't hit little girls.

You've a face like a million dollars - all green and wrinkled.

Act your age, not your IQ.

If I wanted an ass's opinion I would have asked my donkey.

If I gave a shit, it would be on your face.

Yo momma so ugly she made a blind kid cry.

Insult: Why are you so stupid? Comeback: Because I'm related to you!

You're so old, the candles weigh more than the birthday cake.

Insult: You fail! Comeback: Your dad's condom failed! Comeback: Your mom's abortion failed!

Yo momma's so ugly, she walked in the bathroom and scared the shit out of the toilet.