Good Insults

I fart to make you smell better.

You've got more dick in your personality than you have in your pants.

Your so fat, when you're hungry the elephants hide.

You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"

You could make a fortune helping people loose weight; one look at you and they loose their appetite!

Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves!

Person: You are what you eat. Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.

I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.

You're proof that evolution can go in reverse.

The only vagina that you're going to ever see is the one that you fell out of when you were born.

You're the cum your mother should have swallowed.

Glad you think I give a fuck but sorry, no such luck.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.

You're so bald, that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

If you've got a problem take it up with my ass, because that's the only one that gives a crap!

You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.

Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.

I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.