Good Insults

I would call you a cunt but you don't have the depth or the warmth.

Yo momma's so ugly, she walked in the bathroom and scared the shit out of the toilet.

Yo momma's like a penny; two faced and worthless.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on her iPod, she made it an iPad.

Yo momma's so fat, I took a picture of her last christmas and it's still printing.

If you ran as much as your mouth did, you'd be in good shape

Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?

Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.

Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.

If you're talking about me behind my back, that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.

Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.

You're so ugly, when your Mum dropped you off at school, she got done for littering!

You're so fat that when a person was having sex with you they rolled over twice, they were still on top of you!

I'd slap you but shit splatters.

Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.

Insult: You suck. Comeback: And your Mom swallows, by the way I wish you were the load that she had swallowed.

Person: I'm straight. You: Straight as a circle!

If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.

Yo momma's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.

You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.